Jeg synes nu at det er sjovere at lægge databasen ned frem for Apacheserveren... 

$SQL= 'SELECT
	 ( SELECT COUNT(*) FROM {table} ) as total,
	 ( SELECT COUNT(*) FROM {table} WHERE x = y ) as draw,
	 ( SELECT COUNT(*) FROM {table} WHERE x > y ) as win,
	 ( SELECT COUNT(*) FROM {table} WHERE x < y ) as loose';
Så kan man altid smide noget mysql_fetch_array efter sit resultat:
$array = mysql_fetch_array($result, MYSQL_ASSOC);